Archival Fine Art Giclée print on Canson Baryta Prestige, 210x300cms.
The global lockdown of 2021 was a perfect opportunity to focus on disciplined practice. Lockdown meant less distractions and having just moved from the UK to Portugal I was ready to start something new. I decided to embark on a project to create 100 paintings. I thought the project would be a good opportunity to explore what it means to have a ‘visual language’.
Having recently discovered Henry Ward’s Shed Paintings I imagined that being unconstrained like this, I would unleash a creative force inside me. Although I did indeed initially feel free, I soon discovered that too much freedom was sometimes overwhelming.
Although project beginnings are exciting, the first challenge is always facing a blank page. Sitting in silence, staring at a blank page, in my equally empty studio I just listened to what was happening in my brain. There was an internal battle between a calm, almost inert force that could sit and wait, and an impatient, impulsive energy that just wanted to burst onto the canvas: part of me wanted order, a systematic approach and another part wanted an experimental, disorganised start. All were subject to my internal critic. These feuding ideas became paralysing, so I began listening to art podcasts to occupy my brain so that my hands could concentrate on painting.
Listening to podcasts worked but I didn’t particularly like the final images I was producing. The voice of my doubtful internal critic grew louder and, once again, the blank page began to feel daunting. Feeling there were too many options, I tried to instigate ‘rules’ such as; 100 paintings in 100 days, no external inspirations, explore the same thing for seven days, let the brushes and paint guide you, only use one tool for an entire painting, choose one colour and make any mark, start with a background, sit still until the inspiration comes, plan ahead. Some of the rules solved problems, others encouraged discipline. But all of them were met with a new and stronger trait: a rebel of all rules, which returned me to the beginning stage of total freedom, and the cycle of my natural process began again.
This project taught me how to recognise and use my various traits to my own artistic advantage. Some are still difficult to manage but the phrase ‘trust the process’ has become a mantra that reminds me that art practice is not just about the final product: its about the internal, psychological struggle that we encounter and have to overcome as part of the process.
From Nothing I-C, 2021 is available for sale through my website and can be viewed at Atelier do Tijolo.